Chapter 5

After the first mission, the production crew unleashed the next challenge:

A bright-and-early mountain hike, followed by harvesting vegetables in the fields and cooking lunch together.

At 5:30 AM, the camera crew barged into the guests’ rooms.

Chu Shan and White Orchid were already rocking “fake bare-face” makeup, flashing peace signs at the lens:
“Good morning, everyone~ We’re definitely gonna be the first team out in the fields today!”

White Orchid gently adjusted her straw hat. “Hard work is a virtue. We have to set a good example for the youth.”

The comment section purred:

[These two angels are so hardworking!]

Meanwhile, Sister Lan and I were still lying in bed, completely motionless like zombies.

It wasn’t until 7:30 AM that a trembling staff member knocked on our door:
“Sister Lan… it’s time…”

Sister Lan pulled the duvet over her head. “What time is it?”

“It’s… seven-thirty, ma’am. All the other guests have already…”

Sister Lan shot up like she was possessed. “Seven-thirty?! Is it not the middle of the night?!”

The camera zoomed in close: her hair was a tangled bird’s nest, and her expression was darker than a storm cloud.

Still wrapped up like a burrito, I grumbled from under my sheets: “Five more minutes…”

The staffer’s voice quivered: “Miss Chu Shan has been up since six…”

Without opening my eyes, I drawled deadpan: “Good for her. She is her, and I am me.”

“But…”

I snapped my eyes open, delivering every single word with icy precision: “Sleep deprivation causes sudden death. Are you trying to land this show on the obituary page?”

Sister Lan delivered the knockout blow: “And what’s all this about harvesting vegetables and cooking?! I’m pushing sixty! This is elder abuse! The show is called Sweet Melodies of Love, not Farmer Seeks a Wife!”

The chat exploded:

[HAHAHAHA UNBEATABLE LOGIC!]
[Drag them to plow the fields at 5:30 AM for a dating show? Who are they trying to assassinate?!]

—

9:30 AM in the fields.

Chu Shan daintily dabbed away her “invisible sweat”: “Aah~ it’s so exhausting, but totally worth it~”

White Orchid struck a graceful pose with her hoe: “Connecting with nature is so wonderful!”

Comments:

[These two are so diligent!]
[So down-to-earth compared to a certain someone who just lies around.]

Cut back to the villa:

Sister Lan, wearing a luxury sheet mask, casually ordered, “Xiao Zhang, get me an iced Americano.”

I sprawled across the sofa, munching on snacks. “I want a brown sugar boba milk tea.”

Comments:

[The contrast is sending me.]
[Why did these two even sign up for this show?!]
[Everyone else is out in the sun at 5:30 AM, and these two are waiting on DoorDash? Can we get them voted off?]

—

11:00 AM – Emergency production team meeting.

The director slammed his hand on the table: “This is a disaster! They refuse to follow the script!”

The screenwriter shrank back nervously: “Should we… change the rules? The comment section is tearing them apart…”

The director stared at the live search metrics, his eyes lighting up like high beams: “The more hate, the higher the ratings! Keep rolling! Let them stay in bed! Let them stay there all day!”

—

12:30 PM – Chu Shan and White Orchid stumbled back, utterly exhausted.

Chu Shan wiped her non-existent sweat again: “Aiya~ harvesting vegetables for the team was so worth it!”

White Orchid offered a basket of produce: “Sister Lan, Xiao Yue, I heard you woke up late… Luckily we harvested some extra veggies, so we brought you a few~”

Sister Lan spared the basket a single glance. “Riddled with holes, just like your heart. Pass.”

I chimed in immediately: “I’m allergic.”

Anyone who messed with my bestie was automatically my mortal enemy.
A white lotus trying to embarrass my girl? Sorry, not on my watch.

The comments instantly exploded into chaos:

[??? What is with that attitude?]
[It’s so obvious these two are broke and only came on the show for free meals.]
[White Orchid was the first wife anyway. Shen Lan stole her husband with a shotgun pregnancy!]
[Didn’t Ji Mingyue only get into high society by sucking up to people? Now that she can’t produce an heir, she got dumped!]

Sister Lan and I scrolled through the flood of defamatory comments.

Calling us washed-up flops? We could stomach that.
Calling us broke beggars? Absolutely not.

Sister Lan dialed her assistant: “Release the company’s financial reports.”

One hour later, the trending topics completely detonated:

#ShenLan – The Queen of the Business Empire#

Turns out she didn’t step away from acting because she flopped, she pivoted to become a powerhouse mogul in venture capital.
More than half of the entertainment industry was signed under her talent agency.
In fact, this very show was produced by her media company.
Chu Shan? Just an artist from one of her subsidiary agencies.

The comment section did a total 180-degree flip:

[Wait, she’s an ACTUAL boss lady?!]
[You expect someone with that kind of net worth to wake up at 5:30 AM to plow a field? Who’s the crazy one now?]
[Hold up, this whole show is literally her own playground?!]

Dad Lu was practically glowing with pride: “Lan Lan! You’re the absolute best!”

Sister Lan shot him a chilling glare: “Shut your mouth, ex-husband.”

Meanwhile, Lu Chi demanded coldly from the production crew: “Where is my wife’s milk tea? She has hypoglycemia. Don’t let her go hungry.”

I froze.
How the hell did he know about my medical condition?

Dad Lu rushed over as well: “Is Lan Lan’s bird’s nest soup ready yet?”

The staff member whimpered in a tiny voice: “Um… that wasn’t on the schedule…”

Dad Lu slammed his fist on the table: “What kind of garbage show is this?! Order a delivery for premium bird’s nest right now!”

The chat went wild:

[The Lu men are absolute kings of wife-pampering!]
[Dating show? No, this is *Operation: Save My Marriage*!]
[Who said Lu Chi loves Chu Shan? Who said Dad Lu is obsessed with White Orchid?
Look at how they’re avoiding those two, it’s like dodging the plague!]

Sister Lan looked down at the trending searches, her lips curving into the smile of a queen gazing upon her realm.