Arm in arm, Sister Lan and I strutted out the front door like a couple of absolute queens.

Lu Chi blocked our path, looking utterly lost. “Mom, it’s the middle of the night, what are you doing? Dad just called me crying his eyes out, saying you kicked him out with absolutely nothing to his name!”

Sister Lan let out a cold smirk. “Oh, it wasn’t me. You’re the one stripping him of every last cent.”

Lu Chi stared. “???”

His voice shot up an entire octave. “I’m a married man! Since when do you just ‘strip’ people on a whim?!”

Sister Lan casually pulled out a tube of lipstick, checking her reflection in her phone screen to touch up her pouting lips. “Yeah, well, Xiao Yue isn’t your wife anymore. She’s coming with me.”

Then, with the driest delivery imaginable, she added, “Next time you see her, call her Auntie.”

Lu Chi blinked. “WHAT?!“

Sister Lan snapped her lipstick shut, exuding pure royal IDGAF energy. “You and your dad, pack your trash and get the hell out.”

I could swear invisible subtitles were flashing across Lu Chi’s forehead in real time:

Sister Lan dragged me along, but just as we reached the driveway, she turned back like she’d remembered a minor detail. “Oh right, that Porsche is registered in my name. Bring it back tomorrow.”

“Mom.”

“Who are you calling Mom? There’s a man weeping his heart out down by the gate. Go claim him.”

I couldn’t help but peek over my shoulder.

Lu Chi stood there with dripping wet hair and saggy lounge pants, looking for all the world like a massive, abandoned golden retriever. I had to admit… it was kind of adorable.

Right on cue, “Uncle Lu” came sprinting over, completely disheveled. “Lan Lan! Listen to me, let me explain!”

Sister Lan didn’t even bother looking back. “Get lost.”

“It’s just a misunderstanding! Me and her…”

“Butler!” Sister Lan cut him off sharply. “Throw all his crap outside.”

The butler bowed politely and hauled out a giant black trash bag, casually scooping up his things. I literally watched a multi-million dollar luxury watch get dumped into plastic like a piece of rotting garbage.

Damn… high-society divorces were an absolute bloodbath.

Sister Lan, I bow down to your supremacy, I cheered silently.

“Uncle Lu” threw his arms around the doorframe, howling, “I’d rather die than leave!”

Sister Lan flashed a downright villainous smile. “Fine then. Let me give you a taste of what it feels like to lose a loved one.”

“Lan Lan, don’t do anything reckless!”

Without missing a beat, she reached over and grabbed… Lu Chi right by the collar.

Lu Chi gasped for air. “Wife, save me!”

“Dad, save me!”

“SOMEONE SAVE ME!”

Five minutes later.

The two Lu men were squatting outside the grand gates like a pair of stranded fish.

“Chi Chi, go talk some sense into your mother…” Uncle Lu groaned mournfully.

Lu Chi—now officially demoted to a fish stranded on land, let out a heavy sigh. “Dad, I got kicked out too. I can barely save my own skin here.”

Uncle Lu blinked in utter confusion. “???”

“I’m the one who cheated, not you! Why are you getting dragged into the abyss with me?!”

Uncle Lu nearly burst a blood vessel. “Bite your tongue! It was a misunderstanding! I am the most morally upright man on this planet!”

Lu Chi let out a dry chuckle. “And you think Mom’s gonna buy that?”

Uncle Lu choked on his own breath, wheezing out every word: “Son… your mother is genuinely furious this time.”

Lu Chi clawed at his hair, practically roaring into the night: “Dad! There is no way you didn’t get down on your knees! Go back and beg her on your knees right now!”

“I already knelt… it didn’t work…”

Lu Chi felt his blood pressure soaring. “I don’t care! I just want… my wife back…”

In the dead of night, right after finishing a decadent private spa treatment, Sister Lan casually dropped a Weibo post:

I reshared it in a heartbeat:

The internet instantly went up in flames:

[Wait, Shen Lan got a divorce? AND Ji Mingyue too?]

[So those rumors about ‘mother-in-law stealing the daughter-in-law after the divorce’ were actually TRUE?!]

[I always knew Lu Chi was just a name on a piece of paper. The real power couple was Shen Lan × Ji Mingyue all along.]

[Facts! If the law allowed it, Shen Lan would’ve married Yueyue years ago.]

Then, the comment section took a sharp, chaotic turn:

[This whole marriage was a 100% publicity stunt anyway. Everyone in the industry knows they both played the field.]

[Lu Chi’s true love is Chu Shan, and his dad was always tied up with White Orchid. Their wedding almost leaked back in the day.]

[TL;DR: Both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law got kicked out by the rich family.]

[Shen Lan and Yueyue are just ‘gal pals’, guys. You know how it is!]

Me: ???

We really were besties, but where the hell was Lu Chi fitting into all these fan theories?!

After reading through the comments, Sister Lan was so annoyed she slapped a thick stack of documents straight onto my lap. “Xiao Yue, I’m taking you out to make us rich!”

I glanced down, it was a promotional poster for a reality dating show called Sweet Melodies of Love.

Holy crap… fresh out of a divorce and jumping straight into a dating show?!

“Are you for real?”

Sister Lan curved her lips into a wicked smirk. “I invited my first love as my guest, and I’m pairing you up with a hot young eye-candy idol. We’re gonna make those two idiot men bleed out of their eyes from sheer jealousy.”

Me: “Solid 10/10 idea. Let’s do it.”

That very night, Lu Chi managed to overhear the plan and immediately dialed his dad in a panic: “Dad! Register us for that dating show NOW!”

His dad’s voice trembled over the line. “But… your mother already has a partner…”

“So what?!”

“Her guest is her ultimate first love, her high school sweetheart, which makes him my arch-nemesis…”

“And?”

“And… all the official guest slots are already taken.”

Lu Chi went silent for a solid two seconds. “…Dad, take care of your health.”

His dad shot right back, “You too, son… I heard your wife’s new partner is young, pale, and rocking a ridiculously chiseled eight-pack.”

The two men exchanged a grim look through their phones and made a final, desperate decision:

When Sister Lan got wind of it, she burst out laughing and immediately called the production team: “Go ahead and invite Chu Shan and White Orchid while you’re at it. Get the full circus together, it’ll be way more fun.”

The second the teaser dropped, the trending lists absolutely detonated:

The internet went wild in the comments:

[Is this a dating show or the divorce-themed version of The Avengers???]

[Lu Chi: Goes to shoot a reality show, comes back to find his wife turned into his… auntie.]

[Chu Shan and White Orchid automatically assigned to the villainess slots. I’m literally crying laughing!]