“Sister Lan! Emergency! Lu Chi is back home!”

The second I ducked into my bedroom, I dialed my best friend immediately.

“Say what?” Sister Lan sounded stunned. “Alright, I just ordered the latest jewelry set for you as a comfort prize.”

“That’s not the point! The main issue is… he came home out of nowhere! And he saw me dressed like a complete nightmare, but he didn’t even care!”

“Oh, please. What right does he have to judge you?” Sister Lan replied casually. “Oh, Hermès just released a new line of bags. I’m getting you all three colors.”

“Sister Lan…”

“Also, I just had my assistant wire two billion to your account. Spend it on whatever you like.”

Me: “…”

This was my life in a wealthy family:

A best friend for a mother-in-law, money falling like rain, and a husband who was perpetually MIA.

An. Absolute. Dream.

And if Lu Chi remained permanently out of sight, it would be an absolute blessing for all mankind.

Taking advantage of Lu Chi being tied up on a phone call, I slipped out of the house.

Near the estate was a insanely delicious, totally addicting hot pot spot. Sitting on a plastic stool in my hideous outfit, I slurped up my noodles with my head bowed.

Aah… this was true love. Pure artificial additives, but so good it could bring a tear to your eye.

Just as I slurped down the final noodle…

I whipped around to find a paparazzi snapping photos like crazy.

“Miss Ji! Have you been kicked out by the Lu family?”

“Is your marriage to Movie Emperor Lu nothing more than an empty shell?!”

Inside, my heart was doing a happy dance, but on the outside, I put on a weak, fragile act: “No… we’re doing great…”

The paparazzi’s eyes lit up like he’d struck gold.

In less than twenty-four hours, the trending searches exploded:

The photos were crystal clear: there I was, draped in a blindingly bright red “Peony Blossom” dress with hair like a bird’s nest, shoveling hot pot into my mouth like I hadn’t eaten in a lifetime.

The comment section was cracking up:

[OMG, is this really a rich family’s daughter-in-law? She looks like an eighty-year-old grandma!]

[Eating hot pot like she’s been starving for three lifetimes. She practically licked the bowl clean.]

[Told you, she was just brought in as a incubator. Now that she hasn’t popped out a baby, she’s getting tossed out!]

[Movie Emperor Lu and Chu Shan are the real soulmates!]

[Say what you want, but that spicy hot pot looks insanely good. Someone drop the address, I’m literally crying with craving!]

I chuckled as I scrolled through the comments while eating.

Suddenly, a notification popped up from Lu Chi’s Weibo account.

A photo of a home-cooked dinner, accompanied by a caption:

The eagle-eyed netizens immediately spotted a hideous scrap of fabric peeking into the corner of the frame. It was the exact outfit I was wearing.

The comment section erupted for a second time:

[Wait! Isn’t that Ji Mingyue’s outfit? So they’re eating together?!]

[No way! Movie Emperor Lu actually tolerated that taste? Total photoshop!]

[Exactly. Ever since they got hitched, he’s been away on film sets. As if he’d actually be home!]

I stared at my phone, my mind a complete blur.

Wait… was Lu Chi helping me… shut down the rumors?

Hard pass! He was definitely being held at gunpoint by Sister Lan to act as a living PR tool!

Sure enough, over the past few years, whenever divorce rumors cropped up, Sister Lan would immediately wire me a “mental damage fee” and order Lu Chi to drag me out for a public display of affection.

Down in the comments, everyone was pitying him:

[One look and you can tell: forced by his mother.]

As I was mulling it over, the TV flickered with breaking news:

A rising starlet, Chu Shan, Lu Chi’s longtime rumored flame, was answering an interview question:

“We’re just close friends who often discuss scripts together. As for anything else… we’re just letting nature take its course.”

My eyes lit up like high beams.

Chu Shan! The savior of my life!

As long as those two “childhood sweethearts” rekindled their old flame, I’d be free to eat hot pot all year long!

I hadn’t even drafted my match-making scheme yet when my bedroom door swung open.

The sky really was falling.

Lu Chi stood in the doorway, his hair dripping wet, water droplets running down his collarbone. A pair of lounge pants hung loosely off his hips.

“What… what are you doing?” I clutched the blanket tightly, my eyes filled with vigilance.

“Sleeping.” His voice was deep and steady as he casually strolled inside, bringing a rush of fresh body wash scent with him.

“Sleeping… where?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Next to my wife, obviously.”

I went straight into defense mode, instantly scooting half a meter away. “Sorry, this side belongs to Sister Lan.”

To be honest, over the past three years, I’d spent more time in this bed gossiping with Sister Lan than I ever had with my husband.

Lu Chi leaned one hand against the headboard, bringing his face dangerously close. “Ji Mingyue, I’m your husband.”

“Uh…” I shrank back, but my eyes accidentally strayed down to his dripping six-pack abs.

The face fans called “priceless” was now right in front of my nose, his eyelashes still wet with water droplets.

I swallowed hard.

The door burst open again.

“Lu Chi!” Sister Lan charged in, pointing a finger straight at her son’s face. “Get the hell out!”

A vein throbbed on Lu Chi’s forehead. “Mom, she’s my wife.”

“I have important business with Xiao Yue!” Sister Lan declared righteously, dropping onto the bed and shoving her son aside.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

“No. Move, before I slap you.”

Lu Chi gritted his teeth and left.

Immediately, Sister Lan pulled a stack of papers from her bag and slammed them down onto the nightstand. “I want a divorce!”

I stared at the divorce papers signed with a flourish, instantly snapped awake. “You’re… actually leaving your husband?!”

“Yep. Kicking that old man out to the streets with empty pockets,” Sister Lan said coldly. “From now on, call him… Uncle.”

My jaw dropped.

Wait, what? What kind of crazy twist was this?

The elder Mr. Lu I knew was the ultimate devoted husband! He’d drive across town at four in the morning just because she craved fried buns!

“He had an affair!” Sister Lan gritted her teeth.

“No way!”

“One hundred percent!” Sister Lan pulled out her phone and showed me a photo.

In the picture, “Uncle Lu” was indeed wrapping his arm around the waist of a familiar woman.

It was Sister Lan’s arch-rival from back in the day, a woman who used to steal her roles, steal her men, and had now even changed her name to something cringey like “White Orchid.”

Wait, was this tycoon playing out a middle-aged “lord and mistress” melodrama?

Suddenly, Sister Lan turned to me, her expression dead serious. “Xiao Yue, now that I’m getting a divorce, are you staying with me, or are you staying with Lu Chi?”

Without a second thought: “With you, obviously! Sisters over misters, forever and always!”

“Attagirl! That’s my best friend!” Sister Lan pulled me into a tight hug. “Let’s go!”

I scrambled up. “Got it! I’ll go pack my bags right now!”

“Pack what? We’re leaving now!” Sister Lan dragged me toward the door. “Useless trash gets kicked to the curb immediately!”

Oh, right… the useless trash getting kicked out with empty pockets was Lu Chi’s dad, not me.