Chapter 3.

The truth was… I used to know what love felt like.

Back then, I had a little brother who adored me. Even when my parents managed to “forget” I existed in some quiet corner of the house, he would always hunt me down. At first, I couldn’t stand him. I hated him a little, honestly, because the moment he arrived, my already low standing in the family plummeted off a cliff. But he was too innocent to know any of that. He always saved the best bites of food for me, shared his favorite toys, and tugged on my pinky, cooing, “Sis~”

How could anyone hold out against a chubby little marshmallow like that? Slowly, without me even realizing it, my heart thawed.

When he was five, I took him to play near the pond in our neighborhood. His ball bounced into the water, and he looked up at me with tear-brimmed eyes. “Sis… ball fell in…” I smiled, stepping down to grab it for him. It was right at the water’s edge, seemingly within easy reach. But…

My foot slipped. Splash. Down I went.

Panic-stricken, he rushed over to pull me out. But what could a five-year-old possibly do? I tried to yell at him to stay back, but he was stubborn, desperately clinging to my arm. In the end, we both fell in. My strength faded, and I sank into the dark. I was told a neighborhood teenager eventually pulled me out. My brother… he never came back.

I’ve asked myself a thousand times: Why was I the one who got saved?

The security camera footage from that day captured everything, including the sharp slap my father delivered across my face. My mother collapsed into hysterics; not a single person could bear to look at me. Afterward, I was locked in my room and forced to face the wall to “reflect on my sins” for three days and three nights. No food, no water, no one checking if I was dead or alive.

I hated myself. Why couldn’t it have been me instead?

“You killed your own brother.”
“You’re a murderer.”

Those words have haunted me ever since, refusing to release their grip even in my dreams.

This morning, I woke up from that same nightmare again. I had dreamed my brother turned into a water demon, dragging my legs down into the depths, the suffocation so visceral it was terrifying. But when I jolted upright, it turned out my cat was just sleeping squarely on my face, its fur covering my mouth and nose, nearly sending me to the afterlife for real.

I stared out the window as the sky turned from pitch black to pale gray, then slowly brightened into morning. A new day had begun, but I remained unchanged. I lay there until my limbs grew stiff before dragging myself out of bed and heading straight for the racetrack. Because only when I pushed the speed to the absolute limit did I feel truly alive.

“Sis Qian! Haven’t seen you in forever!”
“Hey Qian, I just found this amazing spot.”

I pulled my helmet on, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Not in the mood today. Next time.”

The moment they saw me arrive, they cleared the track. Simple reason: when I drove, fast, aggressive, and razor-sharp, normal drivers didn’t dare come anywhere near me.

One lap. Two laps. By the tenth lap, I still had no intention of pulling over. The faster I went, the emptier my head became; and the emptier my head was, the easier it was to breathe. But just as I was deep in the zone, a sudden gaze made me freeze.

“Holy shit, Brother Pei, this girl is insane! Her drift technique is practically neck and neck with yours!”

Pei Moheng stood near the barrier in full racing gear, holding his helmet under one arm, his dark eyes locked onto me. He had the kind of presence that commanded the room simply by existing… and that included capturing my attention. That single second of distraction ruined my line, my speed plunged, and the engine sputtered out.

For the first time in my “illustrious racing career,” I embarrassed myself in front of a crowd. I ground my teeth. It’s all his fault!

A soft knock sounded against my window. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t handle that piercing gaze forever, so I rolled the glass down. “What?”

“Fancy a race?” Direct and straight to the point.

I smirked. “Aren’t you a little old to be picking on kids, Uncle?” I put extra emphasis on Uncle, and sure enough, his expression darkened instantly. But then a provocative smile touched his lips. “Or… are you scared?”

I let out a laugh. Scared? On this turf, I was the undisputed boss.

“Fine. But we need a wager. What happens if you lose?”

Pei Moheng answered effortlessly. “Whatever you want. Tie me up, beat me… I’m all yours.”

I choked on my own breath. This guy is out of his mind. Who has the time to tie him up?

“Change it,” I said, resting my chin on my hand as I thought for two seconds. “If you lose, you have to drive a lap around the track and shout, ‘Lin Qianqian is the most beautiful woman in the world!'”

It sounded ridiculously childish, but I loved it. Just imagining a man like him being forced to do something so humiliating brought a grin to my face.

Pei Moheng didn’t hesitate for a single second. “Deal.”

His quick agreement gave me an immediate, creeping sense of dread.

“All right then. If you lose… you give me a kiss.”

My eyes widened, but I ended up nodding anyway. There was no way he could beat me on my home turf. Besides, it wasn’t like we hadn’t kissed before—one more wasn’t going to kill me on the spot.

He raised an eyebrow, his voice dropping into a drawl loaded with insinuation. “Hmm… why do I feel like that’s more of a reward for you?”

I was utterly speechless. Who gave him this sky-high confidence? “Get real. Are we racing or what?”

He let out a low laugh, turning to fetch his car.

Two machines, one matte black, one fiery red, lined up side by side at the starting mark. The atmosphere instantly escalated, the crowd pulling out their phones to record what promised to be a legendary showdown.

VROOOOM—

The roar of the engines ripped through the air. Both cars launched forward like arrows from a bow, neck and neck, neither backing down an inch. Heading into the first hair-pin turn, I seized the split-second opportunity, whipping the steering wheel to snatch the lead. I let out a mental smirk: Is that all he’s got?

I was dead wrong. He stayed glued to my tail like industrial adhesive, no matter how hard I tried to shake him, he wouldn’t drop. At the final curve, whether it was because I lost focus for a fraction of a second or because his skill was truly that terrifying, he surged past me in a blink. Clean, decisive, leaving me zero room to react.

The outcome was clear: I lost.

The man stepped out of his car, standing there and looking at me with eyes full of smug triumph. Furious, I slammed my fist against the steering wheel, ripped off my helmet, and tossed it to a guy running toward me. I needed to vanish immediately. I was terrified he was actually going to collect his debt right here in front of everyone.

“Sis Qian, who is that guy? How come we’ve never seen him around?”

I snapped testily, “How the hell should I know? I don’t even know him.” Even to my own ears, the denial sounded painfully weak.

I took a cigarette from someone nearby and inhaled deeply. From a distance, I saw Pei Moheng talking to a woman with a lithe figure and an elegant, charming smile. Ah. That must be the “she” he had mentioned earlier. A girlfriend?

I let out a cold, faint smile. Men. In the end, they all preferred that gentle, soft-spoken type. The Pei family really didn’t contain a single decent man.

I sucked in too hard and started coughing. Tossing the butt away, I headed straight for the lounge. “Don’t hand me these strong ones anymore. I can’t handle them.”