Chapter 1: Kiss or Die

My absurd system went by a brutally straight-to-the-point name: Kiss Tan Yen or Die Instantly. To put it plainly, my remaining lifespan depended entirely on how much skin-ship I could pull off with him:

• Light touch: +1 day

• Hand-holding: +5 days

• Hug: +10 days

• Deep kiss: +30 days

• Ahem… bedroom action: +50 days

Sounds completely mental, right? But reality was far from a daydream. Luckily, I used a fake case of “tactile deprivation” as my ultimate excuse to shamelessly stick to him like glue. The catch? Tan Yen absolutely despised me.

When we were kids, he was sweet enough—he’d let me hug, kiss, and piggyback him all day long. But the moment puberty hit, he turned into an absolute monk, dodging me like the plague. To crush my hopes once and for all, he even hired a fake girlfriend.

Look, the system might be utterly shameless, but I still had my moral boundaries. I wasn’t about to play the homewrecker. And so, my drought began—no more “recharging” off Tan Yen. My life started ticking away, counting down to this exact moment: August 15th, my twenty-second birthday.

Life Countdown: 5 hours, 7 minutes, 39 seconds.

It was currently 6:53 PM. Which meant the second the clock struck midnight, my heart would stop beating. The official cause of death auto-generated by the system? Sudden cardiac arrest. How pathetic is that?

That was why, before drawing my final breath, I drained my savings for a luxury king suite and brought in five six-packed male models to blow the roof off!

I had even picked out my own obituary headline: Tragic! Local Food Blogger Passes Away in Hotel After Wild Night with Five Male Models!

If you’re going to get Isekai’d, you might as well leave a legendary scandal behind!

System, when the time comes, please make it as painless as possible right at the peak of my bliss. Thanks!

System: “…I have no words.”

The models were top-tier, smelling absolutely divine!

Chiseled six-packs, broad shoulders, endless legs—they swarmed around me, pouring drinks and dancing up a storm. Their silky smooth sweet-talk melted my heart into puddle. Honestly, how could Tan Yen ever compete with these absolute gems? All he ever did was glare at me with that stone-cold face and say, “Du Yen, stop wasting your time on me.”

“Babe, why the long face? Am I not sweet enough for you?”

The handsomest guy of the bunch slid up behind me, gently wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me flush against his chest. Beneath the thumping bass of the music, he leaned down, whispering irresistibly into my ear:

“Babe, why don’t we send the rest of them home… and just keep me for tonight? What do you say?”

I leaned back into his chest, letting out a teasing laugh. “Take a guess why I called five of you? Honey, I’ve got a pretty big appetite.”

“What if I can handle it all by myself?” He let out a low, sultry chuckle. “I’m more than confident I can give you the full package. Want to test me out?”

Thank goodness the alcohol hid the bright crimson flushing across my cheeks. My whole life, I’d been pathetically loyal, chasing after Tan Yen and daring nothing bolder than a sneaky peck on his cheek. Tonight was my very first time being bad—and I had immediately crossed paths with a certified flirt expert.

Listen, sweetheart, if I weren’t kicking the bucket tomorrow, I swear I’d make you my permanent boy toy!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A heavy, furious pounding at the door shattered the sultry atmosphere. I flinched, assuming we’d been way too loud and pissed off the neighbors. I made a move toward the door, but the arm wrapped around my waist tightened its grip. I patted the back of his hand softly. “Let go for a second. It’s probably the next-door neighbors coming to chew us out.”

“No way~” the guy pouted, resting his chin on my shoulder and nuzzling against me. “What if they’re mean? Let me protect you.”

Aw, look at him, taking his job so seriously.

Unexpected Guest

The banging grew increasingly violent, sounding less like a complaint and more like a loan shark collecting debt. With the guy still clinging to my waist, I stumbled toward the door. The moment I cracked it open and peeked out…

Our eyes locked. A painfully familiar face filled my sight—Tan Yen?!

Oh sweet mother of God, save me!

Scared out of my mind, I instinctively tried to slam the door shut and pretend nobody was home. But Tan Yen was lightning-fast, jamming his heavy combat boot straight into the gap. He raised his head, his pitch-black eyes locking onto me like a homicide detective interrogating a top-wanted fugitive.

“W-What are you doing here?” I stammered.

Tan Yen narrowed his eyes, a dangerously sharp arch rising in his eyebrow. His gaze dragged downward, fixing rigidly on the hand still resting over my waist. His face instantly went darker than a thunderstorm.

“Du Yen, having quite a party, aren’t we?”

My face burned with embarrassment. But then I remembered—I was going to be a corpse in a few hours anyway. Suddenly, I had nothing left to lose. I lifted my chin, throwing him a defiant glare:

“And… what’s it to you? I told you, if you don’t want me, there’s a whole line waiting. I’ve got four more inside!”

“Right. Fantastic.”

Tan Yen suddenly let out a smile—devastatingly handsome, yet the glint in his eyes sent a sharp, icy shiver straight down my spine. The next second, he raised his left hand, signaling to the hallway behind him:

“Vice raid! Nobody move!”

Holy crap! I completely forgot—Tan Yen’s day job was literally the Captain of the Vice Squad!

“Take every single man inside into custody!”

He practically ground those words out through his teeth. Before my brain could even process what was happening, a dozen burly, tactical cops surged past us like a hurricane: “Hands on your heads! Down on the ground!”

The four male models, who had been shirtless, dancing passionately with beer bottles in hand, froze instantly. Dropping their bottles, they frantically threw their hands over their heads and squatted down against the wall like obedient puppies.

Tan Yen’s piercing gaze shifted to the model still holding onto me, his voice dropping below freezing: “You too. Hands off.”

“Hold on, Officer, on what grounds?” This guy was surprisingly stubborn, keeping his arm firmly locked around me. “I just hit it off with my goddess here and invited my bros over to celebrate. Is that illegal? You guys barged in without a warrant—I’m filing an official complaint!”

I gasped silently. Did this kid take the wrong meds tonight? Who gave him the guts to poke a sleeping lion?

Tan Yen’s expression didn’t just darken—it went straight into full-blown apocalyptic storm mode.

“Du. Yen.” He growled my name through clenched teeth.

I parted my lips to explain, but the guy beside me pulled me tighter, leaning down intimate-style to nibble gently at my ear before whispering, “If you want to stay out of a police station, just play along with me.”

Oh, right! My brain snapped into gear, and I immediately chimed in, “Y-Yeah! We literally just started dating today. What’s wrong with having a little celebration?”

Hearing my excuse, Tan Yen didn’t explode. Instead, a dangerously wicked smile spread across his lips. Slowly pulling out his phone, he tapped the screen a few times and thrust it right in front of my face:

“Celebrating like this?”

On the screen was a WeChat post I’d uploaded two hours ago: Who understands the sheer joy of throwing money around?! Tonight, this lady is ready to die happy under the peony bush—wild party with FIVE male models!

To make matters worse, it was paired with a photo of me grinning ear to ear right in the middle of a six-pack sandwich.

My mind went completely blank. Wait, what the hell? I could have sworn I blocked him! Which traitor took a screenshot and snitched on me?!

“The hotel flagged suspicious solicitation activity, so we’re conducting an administrative inspection. You want to file a complaint? Be my guest.” Tan Yen let out a dark sneer, then forcefully ripped me out of the guy’s arm.

At such close range, I could distinctly feel the overwhelming murderous aura radiating off him.

“Get your clothes on. Escort every last one of them back to the station!”

The male models grumbled in defeat, putting their shirts back on while casting me mournful, heartbroken glances. Watching those top-tier abs get covered up made my heart ache just as badly. As the handsomest guy pulled his shirt over his head, I tried to sneak one last peek—only for a massive palm to roughly slap over my eyes, blocking my view completely.

[Ding! Lifespan +10 days.]

My back was pressed firmly against Tan Yen’s solid, warm chest. The familiar, masculine scent drifting from him made my heart go into a chaotic tailspin.

“Captain, everyone’s loaded up. Only one left…” an officer jogged over to report, hesitating as he looked at me.

Left? Who, me?

“Leave that woman to me. I’ll interrogate her. Personally.”

Tan Yen emphasized every single syllable, sounding like he was ready to devour me whole. If I didn’t know for a fact how much he loathed me, I would’ve genuinely sworn he was green-eyed with jealousy.