Chapter 5: Buddha Tan’s Holy Light

Being a food blogger was the one thing I’d poured my absolute heart into since my sophomore year of college. I was hardly a big star, but after two years of grinding, I’d built up a solid, loyal following of over a hundred thousand fans.

Since my dad had just thrown me out of the house, I didn’t have many belongings to my name — everything fit neatly into a single suitcase, which I’d unpacked the moment I got back from the hotel. The next day was a Saturday, so I set up my tripod and ring light in the kitchen, getting ready to film a new cooking tutorial.

Everything was going smoothly, until Tan Yen wandered out to the living room balcony to lift weights, wearing nothing but a tank top and athletic shorts.

Lord Tan’s sudden divine apparition is going to be the death of me!

Back in high school, the guys would always hike up their shirts to wipe off sweat after a soccer match, showing off their barely-formed abs just to make the girls scream. But Tan Yen? Even though he already had a perfectly sculpted six-pack back then, he always stayed buttoned up to his collar. Even when he was dripping wet, he’d only ever use his forearm to wipe his brow with cold indifference.

And yet here he was, working out right in front of my face. The clothes were modest enough, but those low, deep, magnetic grunts paired with the flex and strain of his bulging muscles as he repped those weights… it was more than enough to send anyone’s mind straight into the gutter.

That wasn’t even the most distracting part, though. The real headache was the non-stop internal radio station broadcasting straight out of his brain:

【 My girl likes abs. Gotta grind harder, push through the pain, do whatever it takes to crush that pale-faced punk from yesterday. 】

【 Wait, why hasn’t she even cast a single glance my way today? 】

【 Back in the day, she loved clinging to me more than anything. Did four years apart really make her fall out of love with me? Did she get sick of me? Man… I’m crying a whole river over here…】

Those pathetic, heartbroken whimpers echoing in my ears made my spine go completely numb. Turning around stiffly, I swallowed hard and squeaked, “T-Tan Yen, I’m trying to record audio for a video. Could you maybe make fewer… weird noises?”

Can’t you just haul those weights into your twenty-square-meter bedroom and work out in there?!

Tan Yen let out a long breath, tilting his head to shoot me a cold, sideways glare. “Focus on your work. Don’t bother me.”

Me: “…”

Excuse me? Who is bothering whom here?! Someone save me!

There was zero chance I could keep filming like this. Just as I was about to shut down the camera and retreat to my room to lock myself away, my phone suddenly rang with an incoming video call. Caught off guard, my thumb accidentally hit the green answer button.

The very next second, the radiant, boyishly handsome face of the model from last night—Lam Nam Thu—filled the screen:

“Hey gorgeous! Where are you at? That scary cop from yesterday didn’t do anything to hurt you, did he?”

CLANG!!!

A massive crash echoed from behind me, making me jump and pull my neck back in terror. Whipping my head around, I saw Tan Yen’s face contorted into a violent, bruised-purple shade of jealousy. A heavy dumbbell was now resting squarely on the floor. Thank God there was a thick yoga mat underneath, or his ridiculously expensive marble flooring would have split right down the middle.

【 WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! When the hell did those two swap WeChats?! 】

【That little punk actually has the nerve to try and steal my wife?! He must have a fucking death wish!】

I raised an eyebrow. Oh, wow. Jealous to this extent already?

The heartache, the bitter jealousy I swallowed back when I was eighteen, hearing the news that you were dating the school belle… are you finally getting a taste of that yourself now, Tan Yen?

At the thought, a soft, deliberate smile touched my lips, and I softened my voice into the microphone: “Hey there. What’s up?”

The kid on the other end beamed, his smile bright enough to light up a room. “Are you free today? How about I ride over and take you out to play?”

Take me out? Is this kid running low on cash and looking for a sugar mama again?

Then again, as much as I wanted to get back at Tan Yen, I wasn’t shameless enough to use an innocent guy as a pawn to stoke his jealousy. Besides, someone I’d met less than twenty-four hours ago acting this eager and overly affectionate felt a little fishy.

“I’m not really—”

Before the word “free” could even leave my mouth, a large, heavy hand reached out and aggressively snatched the phone right out of my grip. Stunned, I looked up at Tan Yen, only to see him holding the phone close to his face, a dark, sneering smirk plastered across his lips, practically dripping with intimidation:

“Lam Nam Thu, youngest son of Bureau Chief Lam over at the Department of Education… since when did you sink so low as to play male escort for pocket change?”

On the screen, the bright smile on Lam Nam Thu’s face froze instantly, his eyes narrowing into guarded slits. “You dare run a background check on me?”

“Just standard procedure. What’s the matter? Guilty conscience?” Tan Yen countered smugly.

“Why would I have a guilty conscience? I just think you’re not only getting old and washed up, but you also have a sick, twisted habit of invading her privacy!”

“Still doing better than you,” Tan Yen shot back, raising an eyebrow before coolly slamming his thumb down to hang up the call.

Holding my phone, Tan Yen’s thumb hovered over the block button for Lam Nam Thu’s contact. He hesitated for a brief second, then forced himself to hand the phone back to me. At the exact same time, a frustrated, heavy sigh echoed in his mind:

【That sneaky little brat. The second he sees me, he starts trying to drive a wedge between us and trap me?】

【If I hastily block his number right now, my girl’s gonna think I’m petty and controlling. That’s gonna be impossible to explain. 】

【 Please, baby, stay strong. Don’t let that little punk’s pretty face lure you away. 】

Outwardly, however, he merely dropped a cold, sanctimonious remark: “You can never be too careful around people.”

Curling my lip, I took my phone back. The moment our fingers brushed, the system instantly chimed: [Lifespan +1 day.] Counting it all up, after a full day and night of “flirting,” I’d accumulated thirty-six days of life. At the very least, I could breathe a sigh of relief knowing I wouldn’t drop dead on the spot.

Buzz… buzz… buzz…

My phone vibrated with a flood of new notifications. This time it wasn’t Lam Nam Thu, but a barrage of comments on the short video I’d just uploaded. Opening the app revealed a chaotic mix—a tiny fraction of compliments buried under a mountain of hate and personal attacks:

“Just cook the damn food. Why dress like that? Who are you trying to seduce?”
“It’s because of thirst-trapping bloggers like you that society is going to trash!”
“How does garbage content like this even pass moderation?”

Ever since my follower count crossed the thousand mark, I’d grown completely immune to these internet moral police. Smiling, I picked out the most absurd comment and started typing away: “Oh, so long sleeves and full pants count as ‘dressing down’ now? Got it. Next time I’ll wear a full Qing Dynasty imperial gown just to satisfy your time-traveling, backward tastes!”

Tan Yen hadn’t moved an inch, standing tall beside me as he watched me reply to the comments. It wasn’t until I hit send that I realized he was staring intently, making me lock my screen in a sudden flash of panic.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing…”

Without warning, Tan Yen reached out and gently ruffled my hair. Bending down, he softly pressed his lips against my forehead. The kiss was so unbelievably gentle it left me completely dazed.

[Ding! Lifespan +15 days.]

Oh God, save me! If you have something to say, say it! Don’t just pull out the eye candy and flirt with me like this out of nowhere!

The air in the room suddenly grew thick and heavy. I nervously lowered my gaze as the wild roar inside his head blasted through my mind again:

【 She’s so damn cute when she gets feisty! God, I want to kiss her so much more… 】

Tan Yen’s breathing began to heavy, his hand shifting as if to cup my face. But right at that dangerously tense moment, the phone on the table rang out loud, tearing through the sultry atmosphere.

I cast a glance at the screen. My pupils shrank instantly, my heart dropping straight to the bottom of my stomach.

The name flashing clearly across the caller ID: Tran Chi Chi—Tan Yen’s ex-girlfriend from back in the day.