The second the front door swung open, WHAM! A throw pillow flew straight at Cheng Si’ang’s face.

Inside, my best friend and Cheng Yu were being chased in literal circles by a squad of burly, suit-wearing bodyguards.

Cheng Yu yelled at the top of his lungs, “You have zero professional ethics, Dad! Using strength in numbers is cheating! This is kidnapping! And it’s all Mom’s fault! If she hadn’t been so blinded by a pretty face and run off to ask for that handsome guy’s WeChat, we wouldn’t have gotten caught!”

My best friend, who currently had her face buried in the abs of one of the bodyguards, tried to defend herself through her muffled voice, “I only got his info because I thought he was your mom’s exact type! How was I supposed to know he was a plant sent by your dad?!”

Cheng Yu crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “I honestly don’t get what Mom ever saw in Dad. Most people choose a partner. Mom played the lottery.”

I stared at my son. Yeah, he definitely deserved every single smack he’d ever gotten.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. I leaned weakly against Cheng Si’ang’s chest, putting on my best damsel-in-distress act. “Hubby… I’m so exhausted… Can you carry me upstairs?”

His face was as dark as a thundercloud, and he was actually bleeding from the nose thanks to that pillow strike, but he still scooped me up into his arms. “All of you, shut up!”

He carried me upstairs, set me gently on the bed, and poured me a glass of warm water before pulling out our divorce papers. He turned those two thin sheets of paper over and over, studying them like he was taking a high-stakes reading comprehension test.

“Is there something wrong with it? I can change it,” I offered, unable to take the silence anymore.

His thumb dragged across my signature, rubbing it so hard it looked like he was trying to erase it from existence. He paused at the asset division section. “You’re leaving with nothing?”

“The house and cars were yours to begin with. None of it is mine… everything belongs to you.”

“Including you…” He hadn’t even finished his sentence when…

Cheng Yu barged into the room, wearing a bright purple Kuromi apron and holding a spatula. “Mom! Dinner’s ready, come eat!”

Just like that, every last drop of sexual tension evaporated into thin air.

At the dining table, my best friend munched away, her lips shiny with grease, without missing a chance to scout for talent. “Bestie, can I borrow your son for two days? The kid’s cooking is divine!”

Cheng Yu immediately puffed out his chest like a proud little rooster. “A man like me, a domestic god, a scholar, and blessed with good looks, is a rare find.”

Then, without warning, he pulled a sharp U-turn. “Speaking of men… Mom, who was that Chen Xu guy at the airport?”

The sweet and sour pork in my bowl suddenly lost all its flavor. I poked at my rice, thoroughly annoyed. “Just eat your food. Everyone has a first love or a ‘White Moonlight’ in their past.”

My best friend seized the moment to drive a lethal dagger right into my side. “Sigh, your mom was such a hopeless romantic. Back in college, she dropped five hundred thousand to sponsor Chen Xu when he was just a broke student. And to top it off, she insisted on a Platonic relationship, didn’t even get to touch his lips!”

My hairs stood on end. I bolted upright to salvage my dignity. “Who says we didn’t kiss? I… I kissed him in secret!”

“I’m full.”

Cheng Si’ang set his chopsticks down. The sound was soft, but to my ears, it sounded like a crack of thunder. I had gotten so caught up in the moment that I completely forgot my legal husband was sitting right next to me.

Someone had clearly pissed Cheng Si’ang off. Even though we had a perfectly functional dishwasher, he stood at the sink, scrubbing a single bowl five or six times over.

My best friend casually munched on a piece of dragon fruit, giving me a pointed look. “You know why your getaway failed, right? Bringing dead weight along is fine, but your dead weight”, she gestured to Cheng Yu, “is way too big. Next time, run solo. Guaranteed success.”

Without a word, Cheng Si’ang scooped up the remaining dragon fruit, shoved it into a bag, and tossed it right back to her. “When you’re done eating, get the hell out of my house.”

Once it was just the two of us, he made a sudden announcement. “Mom and Dad are coming back for a visit soon. The divorce… can wait. But starting tonight, we sleep in separate rooms.”

Before I could even nod, he grabbed my hand tightly, his tone laced with a hint of panic. “No, wait. I mean… if we sleep separately, Mom and Dad will get suspicious.”

Ah, perfectly logical! And just like that, I officially reclaimed my “reluctant” right to feel up his abs as a sleep aid.

I didn’t expect someone else to arrive even faster than my parents-in-law.

The moment the front door opened, a woman in a white dress stood on the porch, weeping like a dramatic rainstorm before throwing herself directly into… Cheng Si’ang’s arms.

“Si’ang… all these years abroad, I never stopped thinking about you…”

Cheng Yu let out a sharp gasp and, with the lightning reflexes of a high-ranked gamer, slammed the door shut right in her face. “MOM! There’s a crazy lady who escaped from an asylum standing outside!”

My afternoon nap had been rudely interrupted, putting me in a foul mood. “What are you screaming for?! Did you see a ghost?!”

It wasn’t a ghost. It was the original “White Moonlight” herself: Shen Yingying.

Shen Yingying clutched her chest, her lips pouted in a pout. “How was I supposed to know the boy had grown so fast? Plus, he looks like a carbon copy of Si’ang. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have mistaken him.”

Cheng Yu immediately switched to his full-savage mode, mimicking her tone perfectly. “Auntie Yingying, don’t talk nonsense. Do you really think I wanted to look like Cheng Si’ang?”

I let out a soft cough. “Mind your manners. Go back to your room and do your homework!” (Subtext: Keep going, sweetie, Mom is loving this drama.)

Seeing no sign of her leaving, I scratched my head and put on a polite, fake smile. “He’s working overtime this weekend and isn’t home. Why don’t you head over to his company to find him?”

“I’ll wait here,” Shen Yingying sneered, lifting her chin.

Oh, skipping the pleasantries, are we? Fine then, don’t blame me for playing dirty.

“That’s great. Do you know how to cook? Come help me in the kitchen. My adoptive parents are coming over tonight. We don’t hire maids, so we do all the housework ourselves.”

Her pretty face twisted instantly. “What are you so smug about? If you hadn’t taken advantage of a crisis to trap Si’ang… his parents would be my parents-in-law right now! You scheming little witch!”