I’m Ji Mingyue, an eighteenth-tier celebrity famous for my nickname: the “Lucky Koi.”

Right now, I was sprawled out across an 800-square-meter villa, wearing jewelry shoved onto me by my mother-in-law on my left hand while scrolling Weibo on my right, hunting for juicy gossip on the trending lists.

#Lu Chi Gets Dead Drunk at Midnight# was exploding like fireworks.

I tapped it, and my heart skipped a beat.

The nation’s Movie Emperor, the global crush, and my husband-on-paper, Lu Chi, was slumped over at a roadside food stall.

In front of him were seven or eight empty liquor bottles. His face was flushed crimson, and his eyes held the desolate sadness of an abandoned puppy at a wet market.

The comments section was busier than New Year’s Eve:

[Holy shit, did Movie Emperor Lu break down with Chu Shan?]

[Totally! Marrying into a chaebol family is a dead end!]

[Wait, didn’t this guy already have a wife? Who even is she?]

Me: … Sorry, it’s this dusty piece of inventory holding the phone right here.

A quick reminder: though I was a nobody, I had Sister Lan, an absolute goddess of a best friend.

Once upon a time, she was a legendary Best Actress; now, she was Beijing high society royalty.

Two years ago, we met on a reality show. We hit it off instantly and almost had a sworn-sister wedding ceremony, except she was already married.

Thank goodness she had a son left over.

So, in the name of “lifelong friendship,” she neatly packaged him up, meaning Lu Chi, and married him off to me.

My husband? Colder than a walk-in freezer ever since the wedding.

Everything was arranged by his mother.

Sister Lan once dropped an iconic life quote:

“No man is worthy of you.”

So to make up for it, she threw money at me like it was water.

Terrified that Lu Chi would ruin the fun, she even packed him off on extended business trips.

My daily routine:

Eat cash, lounging around, praying my husband wouldn’t drag his face back home.

But looking at this morning’s trending search, my heart felt a little chilly.

Could it be… my husband actually got his heart broken?!

The next morning, the housekeeper knocked on my door, practically vibrating with excitement:

“Madam! Young Master is back!”

I panicked and tumbled right out of bed, rolling across the floor.

Wait a minute? Wasn’t he filming that tear-jerking tragedy Life and Death Love with Chu Shan?!

“Madam, are you alright?” the housekeeper asked anxiously.

“I’m fine!” I groaned, rubbing my backside. “Go tell Lu Chi… I’m dead!”

My life was over. What if he saw his wife, with her slim waist, long legs, and fairy-like fair skin—and his heart melted, demanding we live together for real?

My blissful life of a useless freeloader would be utterly ruined!

Frantically, I raided my closet and grabbed a screaming red dress plastered with giant golden peonies, a “backup” outfit meant for grandma’s eightieth birthday banquet.

Slipping it on, I looked in the mirror and thought I looked like… the snobbiest golden retriever in the neighborhood.

Perfect! Guaranteed to make Lu Chi sick to his stomach at first glance.

I marched aggressively downstairs, ready for battle.

Who would’ve thought that the moment our eyes met, he blurted out:

“Auntie, where is Mingyue?”

…Auntie?! Oh, it’s like that.

Lifting my chin, I saw Lu Chi standing dead center in the living room, frozen in shock. His white shirt sleeves were rolled up, exposing muscular arms. Sunlight streamed through the window, framing a face so devastatingly handsome it should be illegal.

I had to admit, Sister Lan’s genes were practically lethal.

Gritting my teeth, I drew out my words in a sickeningly sweet, spoiled tone:

“Darling husband~ you’re back~”

He gave a slight nod:

“Yeah.”

What? I had transformed into “Auntie Peony,” and he didn’t even complain once?!

Fine, time to up the dose!

“Hubby dear~ I missed you to death~” I wiggled closer, my voice sweet enough to rot teeth. “Without you at home, I couldn’t even sleep~”

Lu Chi stared at me for two seconds before deadpan:

“What do you want to eat?”

Huh? What kind of reaction was that?!

“I want spicy hot pot! Extra, extra spicy!” I intentionally played dirty; everyone knew Lu Chi ate super clean and hated spicy food like poison.

“Okay.” He nodded nonchalantly. “I’ll have the chef prepare it.”

…Huh???

Before long, a “luxurious” spicy hot pot loaded with lobster, abalone, and all sorts of nourishing goodies was served.

I couldn’t lose! I decided to unleash my ultimate move: eating cilantro, Lu Chi’s sworn enemy.

“Darling hubby~ this cilantro is so good~ do you want a bite~” I grabbed a whole chopstickful and shoved it right in front of his face.

He parted his lips and bit straight onto my chopsticks.

Clatter, my hands shook, and I dropped the chopsticks entirely.

Lu Chi’s lips curved into a faint, wicked smirk.

“Why are you laughing?” I narrowed my eyes defensively.

“Nothing.” He instantly reverted to his chilly demeanor: “Eat your food.”

…This wasn’t good! Very not good!