Chapter 1: Pregnant

“Two lines?!”

I clutched the plastic stick, read the instruction manual three times, Googled the results four times, and searched social media for “false positive pregnancy test.”

The consensus: Very pregnant. The universe was coming for me, and it was coming hard.

Five years as a kept woman, and I’d gone and gotten knocked up. I flopped onto the king-sized mattress and rolled back and forth. What now?

I opened my chat with Xie Yun. The latest message was from this afternoon — a massive wire transfer paired with a utterly brain-dead note:

Too lazy to work. Miss you.

My heart did a little happy dance looking at the row of zeroes. Maybe… I should keep it?

Xie Yun was loaded beyond belief. Recalling that night, his hands had clamped around my waist, his deep, husky voice chuckling near my ear: “Sweetheart, why don’t you have a baby for me, hmm?”

He wanted a kid, I wanted the bag, and the baby would secure the inheritance. One shot, hit the jackpot. What a deal!

Decision made, I snapped a photo of the test alongside the manual, getting ready to send it over to share the good news. But just as my thumb hovered over the send button, those bizarre comments flooded my vision like a chaotic Twitch feed:

Ayy, side-chick really thinks she can upgrade to main wife with a bump? Classic bimbo logic.

I weep for her IQ. Does she genuinely think Xie Yun wants her spawn? A caged bird should hide a pregnancy, not brag about it. She’s dead meat.

LMAO. The actual female lead is dropping in any second. Is she really trying to squeeze out a few more bucks? Girl, worry about breathing first!

Pour one out for the eight-month-old fetus. Male lead runs her down with a truck and wipes them out. Eight months is fully formed, man. Fucking savage.

Me: “…Wait, excuse me?! Is it really that serious?!”

My thumb froze half an inch above the screen. Hold on… Eight-month fetus? Hello? I literally just found out five minutes ago!

I might be obsessed with money, but if keeping the cash means losing my life, count me out!

Knowing I was slated to get flattened by a truck in eight months, I’d have to be brain-dead to stay behind and play target practice. I bolted upright, hauled out my suitcases, and booked the earliest available appointment at a clinic to flush the evidence.

Glancing back at the walking vault named Xie Yun, I knew I had to bleed him dry one last time before going off the grid. I tapped out a cold, aggressive ultimatum:

Send cash now, or I’m clinging to you like a parasite for life.

—

Let’s be real: I am completely, shamelessly obsessed with money. That’s how I ended up as a rich man’s sugar baby. My benefactor’s name is Xie Yun.

And “Xie Yun” happened to match the exact psycho named in those ghost comments. Given his reputation for treating human life like cheap tissue paper… yeah, it was definitely him.

Back then, knowing he was richer than god, I’d tried desperately to get his attention.

Attempt Number One: I intentionally spilled red wine all over his tailored suit jacket, playing the innocent damsel. “Oh gosh, sir! I am so sorry! Let me pay for the dry cleaning!”

Xie Yun smirked, his smile cold and unreadable. “And how do you plan to pay for it?”

I batted my lashes, playing it thick. “How about we exchange WeChat contacts? I can pay you back in installments!”

I had it all mapped out. No matter how expensive the suit was, I’d cry poor, leading seamlessly into “paying off my debt with my body.” Flawless plan.

Too bad Xie Yun didn’t read romantic comedies. He casually picked up a fruit knife from the table and tipped my chin up with the blade.

Slice.

The icy metal scraped across my cheek, drawing a line of bright red blood. He chuckled softly. “There. Debt settled. Now make sure I never see your face again.”

Me: “…” Yeah, this guy belongs in an asylum.

Attempt Number Two: At an upscale gala, every rich heir had a gorgeous date on his arm, except Xie Yun, who sat alone like a miserable, sociopathic monarch. I swallowed my pride and slipped into the seat next to him.

During a game of Truth or Dare, I drew the short straw: Kiss anyone in the room for two full minutes.

I looked at him, blinking innocently. “Can I kiss you?”

He gave a slight wave of his hand. Taking that as a green light, I slid closer, grinning — only for his hand to snap around my throat.

He choked me. For real.

I saw my ancestors floating before my eyes, waving me home. If the surrounding crowd hadn’t panicked and pulled him off me, I would’ve been a corpse right then and there.

God, Xie Yun was the exact definition of drop-dead gorgeous and desperately in need of mandatory psychiatric evaluation.

Attempt Number Three: On a private yacht. I wore a sweet, strawberry-pink dress, feeling like the heroine of a high-budget romance. I sauntered up to him. “Hi Mr. Xie, what a coincidence! We meet—”

Before I could finish, he asked deadpan, “Are there fish down there?”

I blinked, confused. “I… think so?”

Xie Yun flashed a dazzling, gentle smile—and shoved me headfirst off the deck.

Me: “???!!!”

Saltwater flooded my mouth as I thrashed around like a dying carp. Luckily, I could swim, eventually dragging myself back onto the dock looking like a drowned rat.

Xie Yun crouched in front of me, his voice dropping to a spine-chilling whisper: “Sweetheart… try this one more time, and I’ll make sure you stay down there.”

I almost cried out of sheer rage. Psychopath!

From that day on, I scrubbed his name off my target list. I loved money, sure, but I needed a pulse to spend it.

I moved on to another target. Things went smoothly, and I even scored a luxury hotel room key. Right as I was about to close the deal, word got out that Xie Yun had been spiked with an aphrodisiac at the party. A mutual friend handed over his suite key so Xie Yun could crash.

Coincidentally… that was my room. And I was the “bonus package” inside.

The second I saw Xie Yun walk through the door, I bolted. But before I made it two steps, he snagged my wrist, throwing me onto the king-sized bed. His thumb traced the faint scar on my cheek as he let out a low laugh. “Running? Weren’t you dying to seduce me?”

I looked up at him, utterly wronged. “You were the one who told me to stay the hell away!”

He leaned down, burying his teeth lightly into the crook of my neck. “I’m revoking the order.”

And just like that, Xie Yun became my sponsor. It’s been five years since that night.